I’ve been getting a lot of mail recently – and I mean a lot. Our building has a mailbox at the front door for all of the residents and it seems like mine is constantly filled. For the first little while I started to get concerned that they were messages for me – but after a bit of google translate, I realized that they were wanted notices and financial messages for a Korean man. I promptly started to ignore all mail that wasn’t my bills, or didn’t have my name on them. I had largely been ignoring the problem until today, when my doorbell rang.

Now, my doorbell doesn’t ring too often. Usually it’s a package being delivered or some old ladies trying to convince me to join their church (in that case, I just switch to French until they leave me alone – nobody speaks it here). When my doorbell rang this morning, I debated about opening it – I was not expecting a package, nor was I in no mood to talk to anyone about Jesus at 10 in the morning.

Answering the door as a disheveled mess, I came across 3 police officers standing in front of it, who promptly greeted me in Korean. I put on the standard face one does when they don’t speak a foreign language, and one officer quickly switched to English. He explained that they were looking for a man, while the other two compared my face to the photo they had in a wanted picture. Mostly from not being of Korean descent, and a little from my Jedi mind tricks, they determined quite rapidly that I was not the man they were looking for. After asking me a series of questions like “have you seen him?” and “how long have you been here?” they asked my name and with a smile went on their way.

The best I can figure out is that this man is wanted for some kind of fraud, embezzlement, or insider trading. I keep getting angry red letters from the Korean Stock Exchange, as well as the national police. Buddy, I don’t know who you are – but I wish you the best of luck.

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